Lent 2017, So Far

The Fifth Sunday of Lent is a line of demarcation of sorts. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before somewhere, but in the pre-Missal of Paul VI days it was actually Passion Sunday, when the account of our Lord's death was proclaimed during the Gospel. The following week was Palm Sunday when we remembered Jesus' triumphant entry into Jerusalem, and everybody who came got palm leaves. The reforms of Vatican II conflated these two observances into what we have now, with the reading of the two Gospel passages, the blessing of palms, and the proclaiming of the Passion narrative in parts. 

In spite of this change, the readings, prayers and preface of the Mass used from here on in reflects the old practice. We are moving away from general admonitions to repent - encouraged to of pray, fast and give alms to help us in this ongoing project of conversion (though we should still continue them). We will now be reading of the controversies that led directly to our Savior's death. We are also asked to use the preface for the Passion of the Lord during the Mass in the last ten days before the Triduum. Some parishes and shrines still cover up their statues, according to the old practice. In these days we are asked to enter more intensely into the mystery of Jesus' suffering and death. 

I'm going to take this moment of thematic shift, then, to make a public self assessment of my Lenten observance so far. 

I once again took on the daily Holy Hour as my main Lenten penance. I don't do it every year, but I felt called to renew my efforts this time around. Not that an hour before the Lord in prayer is punishment, but the only practical time to do it is either very early in the morning or very late at night. It means an hour less sleep, which is where the sacrifice comes in. The door bell rings in this place, sometimes from 7:00 in the morning to 9 or 10 PM, in the extreme. To try to fit a Holy Hour in during some other time of the day invites the risk of being interrupted. So early morning it is.

I was faithful the first four weeks, from Ash Wednesday until the Fourth Sunday, but travel back and forth from meetings threw me off, so this week has been hit and miss. So I'm focused on making these last two weeks before Easter count.

What is different this year than in past attempts at making the Holy Hour, is that staying awake and focused has been more of a struggle. It's never easy, but most mornings I'm fighting to stay awake, with the normal 15 minute Rosary taking as much as 25 or 30 minutes: not because I'm in ecstasy but because I'm barley conscious at times. 

In the past I would face these obstacles and give up after a few days. But I have come to appreciate that these road blocks are invitations to perseverance. Rather than saying to myself, "This must be the wrong path because God wouldn't ask me do something I'm not getting anything out of," I see it as Jesus asking me: "How much do you love me? Are you only willing to spend the Hour when it's easy and seems rewarding?" He essentially asked the same of  the Apostles on Holy Thursday Night in the garden. I'm certainly not better than they, and shouldn't be surprised that I'm subject to the same weakness.

My failure this time around wasn't so much out of discouragement, but an inability to adapt to a change of schedule, and then I didn't take advantage of opportunities during the day I did have to make the Hour up. It still would have been difficult, if not exactly impossible to have gotten the Hour in on my "travel day," but the other misses were clearly on me.

The other thing I've noticed is that, while I still experience the same sense of calm and emotional equilibrium I always do when I keep the Holy Hour, I'm also becoming more aware of my short comings. I see more clearly how I'm deficient as a Christian, a Salesian and as a pastor of souls. I feel the Lord calling me live the commitments of my life more faithfully, and offer my sufferings in reparation for my sins and those of others. I don't feel condemnation, but encouragement in the midst of that holy unease the Lord sometimes plants in our souls to keep us from getting complacent. 

So, to sum up, if you're finding your Lenten penance difficult or even unrewarding: good. What ever we do should be challenging, and we should only expect the reward further down the road. If you faltered at some point, don't give up. Take some time, but not too much (over thinking things can be as bad as not thinking at all), to figure out why - then get back to it. If you prayed over your penance ahead of time or, better yet, worked it out with a spiritual director assume it's from God and keep on moving. God knows we're probably going to fall, but He doesn't want us to stay down. 

So, two weeks from today we celebrate Easter Sunday. May all of us make a good finish of Lent, spent a holy Triduum, and be ready to rejoice at the celebration of our Lord's Resurrection.